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gary

by cipinko

/
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    If you download this and email us your name and mailing address, we'll send you a zine that Leor made especially for this and a zine that Leor made because they were bored! When you download this, you will get four random pictures that Leor found on their computer in addition to a live video of us playing "smyami" from our first show at Beat Kitchen (if i didn't totally technologically fuck up)! Thx :)
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1.
i'm a waste of time. no metaphor.
2.
i've forgotten my aspirations in constant search for myself. every time i try to trace back, i end up back on my couch. i can't be the only kid who's not hip to getting older, getting paid but not feeling better, is that what i'm going to be? all these songs are poisoned with the same subjects and chord progressions, like songs all about houses, or songs about sleeping under trees. maybe getting old will give me more chances to be cynically discontent and vocal about it. loud enough to piss people off, but not substantial enough to hear me. here's another song about feeling alone, wanting to stay angry, but also wanting it to go. i hope you like all of my bullshit, despite its unjustified first-world blindness. tales of teenage terror, scream-sung slightly out of key. i don't know what i'm singing about, but i'll sing until you buy or sell me. i'm indecisive as to how i'd like to keep my brain in tact. i'm either writing songs or doing something that's counterintuitive. i can't focus on my future because i've prioritized the past in order to write more songs without thinking too much, so i can get right now done fast. i've got appointments like i'm important, i've got help for everything. all these people are here to help build the future towards which i should be working. maybe i'm just immature, maybe i just don't care, or maybe i just try to come off that way to seem alternative, or another something that i'm not. maybe i'm just starving to be another starving artist, maybe to make me feel skinny or give me reason to complain. here's another repetition, the kind you start when your brain stops working. when you feel sick and unmotivated you can spin in circles to these songs but you still won't.
3.
institutionalize success, just like it's a disease. a disease to not want to give in. marginalize my mind, teach me to tell myself that i'm just fine floating along, dead in the water. there's an illusion to move forward, an illusion to safety, an illusion to being the western heroes in the hollywood-hit movie. so i march to the beat of a standardized test, i drill my brain until it's oil-less. just to sit at home, in my room, breathless. sit at home alone. so i pace these high school halls, with all the colors on the wall, but whose occupants are just as mindless as the mannequins in the mall. because we're all dead in the water.
4.
i guess this is what i get for constant self-reflection: a mind full of my waking moments creating midnight aggravation. everything i could have vocalized, but thought up too late. all the music i could have written if i photographed my brain can't describe. i built step-stones out of the bones, chewed up and spit out by every ex-friend who lives with their eyes closed. i don't know why i can't always sleep at night, maybe it has to do with everything that's always on my mind. or maybe i'm not tired. poetic self-searching gets me lost in myself. i don't know about where i am but i know i long for somewhere else. wish i could see past that sweater and snake-like slurred speech, but i can't. and maybe i'm not tired.
5.
there are none bae, but if you want to add some then fuckin go for that shit! <3
6.
i could sit here all day and talk about nothing, or i could sit here all day with the mind of no one. or i could let the conversation move somewhere else, i'll let myself move somewhere else. i could sit here. but it's all going to be okay, it's all going to be okay. do you remember that time you threw me in the meat grinder because you hit me on the head with a wrench? i do, i do, i do. i was so concussed back then. but it all turned out okay. it all turned out okay. yeah, my head got better that day and my brain stopped bleeding eventually.
7.
smyami 03:33
i love you. your memory burning, i can feel you in my teeth. i can taste you in the back of my throat. i forgot you in my front seat.
8.
i'm a waste of time. no metaphor.

about

most of this album was recorded at karl marx the spot from november 2013-may 2014. shouts out to the ever-beautiful derek mclaughlin for letting us borrow his bass for recording a good portion of this album.

if gary cipinko ever sees this, i hope he is thoroughly entertained by the monster we have created in his name.

this is our first album. if you want to give us money then that'd be awesome, but hearing this is payment enough for us.

thanks for listening to our album! come see a show! talk to us! email us!

credits

released May 17, 2014

all music written by cipinko.
on this recording, cipinko is: leor miller and trevor zemtseff.

art by leor.
recorded and mixed at karl marx the spot by leor.

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cipinko Evanston, Illinois

songs about weed & worrying / evanston, il / 2013-2015

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